Cocoa

Wey-hey! My plaster cast is off after 6 weeks and I’m chuffed!

Now to learn how to walk again…

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Tony Henry belted out a version of the Croat anthem before the 80,000 crowd, but made a blunder at the end.

He should have sung ‘Mila kuda si planina’ (which roughly means ‘You know my dear how we love your mountains’).

But he instead sang ‘Mila kura si planina’ which can be interpreted as ‘My dear, my penis is a mountain’.

~ BBC Sport

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I just got a cheque for 33c for my (one) share in Disney!

I’m rich!

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A German man on Friday pulled up at a petrol station, filled his car up, paid for the fuel and promptly forgot all about his vehicle. Officers contacted the 63 year old man, who returned later to collect his car.

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Conservatives are breaking out the champagne, declaring that the surge in Iraq is working.

If you dig a little, though, you uncover data that suggests that whilst the surge is reducing violent death, the death rate is still higher than that in 2003, 2004 or 2005. Hardly a solution.

Additionally, deaths per day from vehicle bombs are at an all time high.

http://www.iraqbodycount.org/database/

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Blind Lemon Alley, the best restaurant in the world, has been forced to close due to lease problems. Damn shame.

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Q: Which country to do you prefer — Kazakhstan or the USA?

A: “I very much preferring Kazakhstan – it nicest place in the world! Please, you must look on my guidings book and then come visit. Bring your whole family and stay at Astana Funworld Resort – it have beautiful beaches, almost totally free of landmines and the sea is guarantee to have no jellyfish, shark, or any other marine life.”

Q: Which people are smarter?

A: “Kazakh peoples is definite has more powerful brains. Government scientist, Dr. Yamak have prove that our glorious leader, Premier Nazarbamshev have IQ of 412 and a brain that extend into most of his chest – it no surprise that he have never fail in complete any jigsaw puzzle. Since 93 percent of Kazakh people is direct relate to him within 3 generations, rest of population also shares this great intellects.”

Q: What advice do you have for people traveling around the United States?

A: “My book contains many useful informations for Kazakh peoples traveling to US and A – for example, best places to photograph ladies without their knowledge, location of Grand Canyons if you need place to dispose of a wife and location of Kazakh Embassy and where to go if you want to shoot a Redindians.”

Q: When can people expect to see you in Kazakhstan again?

A: “I already in Kazakhstan, living very happilys with my new wife. This morning, I was awoke by my clock-radio (electronic LED), after which I remove my wife from her cage and she make me delicious breakfast of western cereal ‘Frosties’, which I have with delicious fresh milk from her chests. I then attach her to her plough and send her into the fields before returning to my bed until she come back at luchtimes to feed me again. Life is very nice for us.”

Q: Who do you favor for President in the United States?

A: “I cannot believe that it possible a woman can become Premier of US and A – in Kazakhstan, we say that to give a woman power, is like to give a monkey a gun – very dangerous. We do not give monkeys guns any more in Kazakhstan ever since the Astana Zoo massacre of 2003 when Torkin the orang-utan shoot 17 schoolchildrens. I personal would like the basketball player, Barak Obamas to be Premier.”

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Well, the Liberal Democrat leadership campaigns are under way and I’m hoping Nick Clegg wins. He could be just what we need!

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