Cocoa

A car insurance claim form where a disgruntled male driver accuses a female motorist of being a “freeloading fat chav” has been leaked on the web.

Insurance giant AIG has launched an investigation after the form – complete with a cartoon drawing of the accident scene – began doing the rounds on the internet.

The driver – who is named, along with the woman – describes a shunt at traffic lights in which his car apparently hits the rear bumper of the vehicle in front.

Under the section ‘Full Description Of Accident’, he writes: “I was stopped at traffic lights. The lights changed. Mrs P***** started to move and then stopped (stalled).

“I had just started to pull away and then broke. As I stopped I very slightly touched the rear bumper of the car in front.

“We both got out. There was no damage and Miss P***** is a fat chav who definately (sic) does not have whiplash.”

The abuse does not stop there however.

Under the section ‘Sketch Plan’, the furious driver vents his spleen a second time with the aid of two cartoon drawings of the accident scene.

The overview shows two cars labelled ‘Fat Chav’ and ‘Me’ while the side view shows two cartoon characters arguing in the street.

A speech bubble coming from the pot-bellied lady driver declares: “Ooooh I’m a freeloading fat chav who doesn’t have whiplash.”

The male responds: “Chav!”

An AIG spokesman said: “We take any potential breach of data security very seriously and we are actively conducting a full investigation into this matter.”

~ Yahoo! News UK

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What do you call some of the most unlucky people in Britain?

Justin Case, Barb Dwyer and Stan Still.

It sounds like a bad joke, but a study has revealed that there really are unfortunate people with those names in the UK.

Joining them on the list are Terry Bull, Paige Turner, Mary Christmas and Anna Sasin.

And just imagine having to introduce yourself to a crowd as Doug Hole or Hazel Nutt.
The names were uncovered by researchers from parenting group TheBabyWebsite.com after trawling through online telephone records.

Retired airman Stan Still, 76, from Cirencester, Gloucestershire, said his name had been “a blooming millstone around my neck my entire life”.

“When I was in the RAF my commanding officer used to shout, ‘Stan Still, get a move on’ and roll about laughing,” he said.

“It got hugely boring after a while.”

But 51-year-old Rose Bush, from Coventry, West Midlands, said she loved her name.

“I always get comments about it but they are always very positive,” she said.

Some of the most unfortunate names:

Pearl Button
Jo King
Barry Cade
Carrie Oakey
Priti Manek
Tim Burr

~ BBC News

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Turns out there’s a town called “Fucking”.

Fucking (IPA: [ˈfʊkɪŋ]; pronounced “fooking”) is an Austrian village in the municipality of Tarsdorf, in the Innviertel region of western Upper Austria.

The village is located 33 kilometres (21 mi) north of Salzburg, four kilometres (2.5 mi) east of the German border and half an hour by car from the town of Petting, in Bavaria.

~ Wiki

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A bungling Australian car thief was nabbed after accidentally locking himself in the vehicle he was trying to steal, police said Wednesday.

Police were called to a house in Adelaide after two thieves were heard trying to steal a car. On arrival they were surprised to find a 53-year old man hiding inside the vehicle.

“The man, while breaking into the car, had locked himself in the car and couldn’t get out,” South Australian police said, adding a second thief was found hiding in nearby bushes.

~ Reuters

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An infant boy was married off to his neighbors’ dog in eastern India by villagers, who said it will stop the groom from being killed by wild animals, officials and witnesses said on Wednesday.

Around 150 tribespeople performed the ritual recently in a hamlet in the state of Orissa’s Jajpur district after the boy, who is under two years old, grew a tooth on his upper gum.

The Munda tribe see such a growth in young children as a bad omen and believe it makes them prone to attacks by tigers and other animals. The tribal god will bless the child and ward off evil spirits after the marriage.

“We performed the marriage because it will overcome any curse that might fall on the child as well on us,” the boy’s father, Sanarumala Munda, was quoted as saying by a local newspaper.

The groom, Sagula, was carried by his family in a procession to the village temple, where a priest solemnized the marriage between Sagula and his bride, Jyoti, by chanting Sanskrit hymns, a witness said.

The dog belongs to the groom’s neighbors and was set free to roam around the area after the ceremony. No dowry was exchanged, the witness said, and the boy will still be able to marry a human bride in the future without filing for divorce.

Indian law does not recognize weddings between people and animals, but the ritual survives in rural and tribal areas of the country.

~ Reuters

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The Liberal Democrats are currently at 22% in he UK polls.

Labour, the ruling party, are only at 28%.

Therefore, if the Lib Dems capture 4% from Labour, they take over as the second party for the first time in decades!

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A hardline Hindu organization, known for its opposition to “corrupting” Western food imports, is planning to launch a new soft drink made from cow’s urine, often seen as sacred in parts of India.

The Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), or National Volunteer Corps, said the bovine beverage is undergoing laboratory tests for the next 2 to 3 months but did not give a specific date for its commercial release.

The flavor is not yet known, but the RSS said the liquid produced by Hinduism’s revered holy cows is being mixed with products such as aloe vera and gooseberry to fight diseases such as diabetes and cancer.

~ Reuters

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Indians outraged at an attack on women for drinking in a bar have gathered together to send a provocative gift of underwear to right-wing activists.

More than 5,000 people, including men, have joined the Facebook group, which calls itself the Consortium of Pub-going, Loose and Forward Women.

The group says it will give the pink underwear to Sri Ram Sena (Army of Lord Ram) on Valentine’s Day on Saturday.

It was blamed for the bar attack in the southern city of Mangalore last month.

Pramod Mutalik, who heads the little known Ram Sena and is now on bail after he was held following the attack, has said it is “not acceptable” for women to go to bars in India.

He has also said his men will protest against Valentine’s Day on Saturday.

~ BBC News

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Scientists say they may have found out why the great British chip smells so irresistible: a complex blend of scents that includes butterscotch, cocoa, cheese and flowers.

The aroma has been unpicked by food scientists at Leeds University.

“Whether oven-cooked or fried, the humble chip doesn’t smell of just chips — the aroma is much more complex and probably explains why chips are everyone’s favorite,” said Dr. Graham Clayton, who led the research for National Chip Week that started Monday.

“Aromas including butterscotch, cocoa, onion, cheese and would you believe …ironing boards, all combine to help make chips one of Britain’s iconic dishes,” he said.

The Leeds scientists collected the aroma from cooked chips, then separated the different compounds for analysis by an “aroma-meter” machine.

Those that could be detected by the human nose were sniffed, and the type and strength of smell recorded.

The findings showed that chips that are cooked twice have more complex aromas, comprising bitter cocoa, butterscotch, cheese, earthy potatoes, onions, and flowers.

“Perhaps these findings will see chips treated like wine in the future — with chip fans turning into buffs as they impress their friends with eloquent descriptions of their favorite fries,” Clayton said.

~ Reuters

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A dream job looking after a tropical island in Australia has attracted over 11,000 applicants — including Osama bin Laden who failed to make the shortlist.

A spokeswoman for Tourism Queensland said the group had received over 11,000 video applications since advertising the A$150,000 ($96,000) “best job in the world” as caretaker of Hamilton Island on the Great Barrier Reef.

One of the applications was a 30-second prank video showing the world’s most wanted man, with nonsensical sounds dubbed over his real voice.

Using subtitles, bin Laden argues his case for the six-month contract, describing himself as “outgoing,” “familiar with sandy areas” and experienced with “large scale event coordination.”

He lists his interests as arts, crafts and renovating.

~ Reuters

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