Cocoa

Top ten jokes…

…as per this year’s Edinburgh Fringe!

1. Dan Antopolski – “Hedgehogs – why can’t they just share the hedge?”

2. Paddy Lennox – “I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: ‘This could be interesting’.”

3. Sarah Millican – “I had my boobs measured and bought a new bra. Now I call them Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes because they’re up where they belong.”

4. Zoe Lyons – “I went on a girls’ night out recently. The invitation said ‘dress to kill’. I went as Rose West.”

5. Jack Whitehall – “I’m sure wherever my dad is; he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending.”

6. Adam Hills – “Going to Starbucks for coffee is like going to prison for sex. You know you’re going to get it, but it’s going to be rough.”

7. Marcus Brigstocke – “To the people who’ve got iPhones: you just bought one, you didn’t invent it!”

8. Rhod Gilbert – “A spa hotel? It’s like a normal hotel, only in reception there’s a picture of a pebble.”

9. Dan Antopolski – “I’ve been reading the news about there being a civil war in Madagascar. Well, I’ve seen it six times and there isn’t.”

10. Simon Brodkin (as Lee Nelson) – “I started so many fights at my school – I had that attention-deficit disorder. So I didn’t finish a lot of them.”

~ BBC News