Taken from Private Eye:
Presenter: What travels at 300 million miles a second?
Contestant: A cheetah.
SUDO-Q, BBC1
——————————————-
Presenter: How may pins do you need to knock over for a strike in 10-pin bowling?
Contestant: Well, all of them.
Presenter: And that’s how many?
Contestant: Nine.
BBC RADIO LEICESTER
——————————————-
Presenter: How long is it since dinosaurs roamed the earth?
Contestant: 800 years.
BREAKFAST SHOW, HEART FM
It turns out that various Japanese citizens have been sold specially shorn sheep under the pretence that they were poodles; the scammers largely got away with it because sheep are not all that common in Japan.
UPDATE: This story has been shown to be false.
A 40 foot yacht has been found off the North Queensland coast, Australia. When found, the engines were running, an evening meal had been laid out, on board computers were running, a laptop was out and running and no lifejackets were missing. Sails were up, one badly damaged. The crew was nowhere to be found.
For the full story, visit BBC News.
Cheese with teeth = not good to eat. Trufax.
for Michael Longley
As a child, they could not keep me from wells
And old pumps with buckets and windlasses.
I loved the dark drop, the trapped sky, the smells
Of waterweed, fungus and dank moss.
One, in a brickyard, with a rotted board top.
I savoured the rich crash when a bucket
Plummeted down at the end of a rope.
So deep you saw no reflection in it.
A shallow one under a dry stone ditch
Fructified like any aquarium.
When you dragged out long roots from the soft mulch
A white face hovered over the bottom.
Others had echoes, gave back your own call
With a clean new music in it. And one
Was scaresome, for there, out of ferns and tall
Foxgloves, a rat slapped across my reflection.
Now, to pry into roots, to finger slime,
To stare, big-eyed Narcissus, into some spring
Is beneath all adult dignity. I rhyme
To see myself, to set the darkness echoing.
~ Seamus Heaney
A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his “wife”, after he was caught having sex with the animal.
The goat’s owner, Mr Alifi, said he surprised the man with his goat and took him to a council of elders.
They ordered the man, Mr Tombe, to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50) to Mr Alifi.
“We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together,” Mr Alifi said.
~ BBC News
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XLIlARgTz4]
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2BVNz_HJaw]